Empty Nest

I woke up from my nap to an empty apartment this afternoon.  It was silent without Mouse here to grumble about my backwards schedule.  Instead, he’s somewhere over the Pacific, headed back to Vegas for a stretch.  His absence doesn’t feel right.  It’s strange and lonely.  This newfound solitude permeates every corner of our apartment, lingering in the air, reminding me of how acutely I miss him.  It’s only been a few hours.  How will I feel in a few days or weeks?  These pangs make me feel vulnerable and weak, so unlike the independent person I am.  But, after months of being around each other nonstop, this physical distance is disconcerting.

Ironically, his return to Vegas was my suggestion.  It made sense.  We’ve been unable to travel much, thanks to my busy work schedule and his injury.  He’s been going stir-crazy, just sitting idly around the apartment.  So, when the insurance company offered to fly him home and some business opportunities materialized, we decided upon this new plan.  He can work in Vegas for a stretch, while I continue to work here.  When he returns, we will be able to travel and explore Australia as we initially planned.  But, despite the sound logic of this plan, I look around my empty apartment wonder if this was the right decision.  The gravity of my loneliness weighs heavily on me.  The concept of living on opposite sides of the globe, even for a short time, is overwhelming. 

I imagine I will eventually adjust.  I will become accustomed to this independence.  The next several weeks are likely to fly by.  I’m scheduled to work non-stop.  Before I can blink, late July will have arrived and I will be picking him up at the Brisbane Airport.  Then, with his ankle healed and some vacation time at my disposal, we can embark upon the adventures of our dreams.