Hospital Nursing Orientation - just hearing the words makes my eyes glaze over with boredom, as I nearly slip into a coma of indifference. Every hospital requires its nurses to attend these orientations, and every nurse knows how excruciatingly boring the mandatory training sessions can be. Regrettably, after two weeks with my new employer, I could no longer escape the inevitable; this is my week for orientation. So, I arrived at the education room this morning, armed with a venti Starbucks and gummi bears (both necessary to ward off embarrassing sleep nods), ready for three days of pure monotony.
As predicted, the first day was fairly awful. Sugar and caffeine can only do so much to stimulate me. We sat in a small, stuffy room, inundated with a litany of Power Point slides, handouts, and pointless quizzes. My brain began to numb by nine. My bum followed suit around noon. My only saving grace was the amusement I derived listening to everyone’s accents. Despite living here for a couple of months, the Aussie accent has not ceased to entertain. Oh – and I was also able to occupy myself deciphering more slang. I seriously spent a good amount of brainpower translating their phrases into my English. Get the trolley. (Translation: Get the gurney, the ACLS cart, the intubation equipment, etc. Anything on wheels is a trolley.) Prepare the mini-jets. (Translation: Prepare the pre-filled syringes. Huh?!?) Does anyone want a cuppa? (Translation: Would anyone like a cup of tea or a cup of coffee?). If I didn’t find it all so funny, I might be a bit frustrated. But, for the next few days, I have countless orientation hours to kill, so I might as well sit back and let them make me laugh.
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