Readjustment

It’s strange, but it doesn’t feel like I’m really done with my Aussie nursing experience.  It just doesn’t seem possible.  I know I’ve turned in my badge and said my good-byes, but it still hasn’t sunk in that I don’t work there any more.  Rather, it feels as though I’m on my days off and will be expected back soon.  I’ve woken with a start every day, checking the time, ready to hop out of bed; until the sleep-induced cobwebs clear and I remember that I’m not late.  Right now, there’s no such thing as late.  (A difficult concept to embrace.)  I nearly had a mini panic attack yesterday, when my phone rang in the wee hours of the morning.  For a split second, I assumed it would be my charge nurse, inquiring as to whether or not I was planning to work my shift.  Of course it wasn’t, but my heart didn’t stop pounding until I heard my friend’s voice on the other line.  It’s funny how a little bit of social conditioning can so easily and deeply penetrate one’s psyche.  I wonder how long it will take me to get out of the habit of feeling like I should be at the hospital.  I wonder how long it will take for my body to readjust.  I imagine when Mouse arrives and my life begins to feel like less of a limbo, it will all hit me.  Until then, I just have to relax and embrace my newly-attained unemployment.