All In a Day's Work

Have you ever left work convinced you smell like poo? That you've been around the offending substance for so many hours, and in such large quantities, that the stench has diffused into your pores and stubbornly clings to each and every strand of your hair? That, no matter what you do, you cannot get the rancid scent out of your nostrils?

Chances are, if you're not a nurse, you probably haven't. Lucky you.

I, on the other hand, am not so fortunate, and today is one of those mornings. Which, of course, means last night was one of those nights. I'll spare you the gory details, but it would be safe to assume there was an abundance of poo. Think overflowing rivers. (Sorry for the visual. I couldn't help myself.)

I'm not sharing this to complain or make anyone feel sorry for me. If anything, I hope it makes you laugh. Believe me, I laughed all night at the grotesque ridiculousness of the situation. I couldn't help myself, because, quite honestly, it was the only thing I could do. (That and clean my patient many, many times.) I couldn't get mad; it wasn't her fault. The poor dear wasn't even conscious to realize what was happening. Even if she was, it would have been out of her control. It was the perfect storm of tube feedings and bowel meds. Besides, as all nurses know, sometimes (and all too often), poo just happens.

So, now that my night in fecal hell has come to an end, I'm headed home to scrub myself from head to toe. I've never been so excited to step foot in my shower and wash away the evidence of my unfortunate night. Oh well - eventually I'm bound to come clean.

Kind of makes you reevaluate your definition of a "bad day", right?