Wednesday, May 9, 2012

One of Those Nights

Last night was one of those nights all nurses dread. It was one of those nights that chews you up, spits you out, and puts you in your place. It's been a long time since I've felt so helpless, lost, and brow-beaten. Last night definitely took its toll on me. One thing after another went awry, in a never-ending cascade of complications. It wasn't anything I hadn't dealt with before, but there was no relief, not even a moment to catch my breath or my thoughts. And to top it off, I was at a new facility, with a foreign charting system, and no one familiar to rely upon. I was a little fish floundering in a sea of computerized confusion and mental disorganization. It left my head spinning, my body aching, and my spirit crushed. It isn't often that I have to fight back tears of frustration, but that's exactly what I found myself doing in the wee hours of the morning. After twelve hours of chasing my tail, and never getting caught up, I was ready to throw in the towel. But that's not really an option when your patient stubbornly refuses to stop coding, now is it? So I kept stubbornly plodding along, too, doing my best to put out the fires that continuously sprung up. It wasn't how I like to do my job, constantly being on the defensive, rather than the offensive, but it was the best I could do. Miraculously, I made it through. The clock struck seven and my relief arrived. No one died and I had managed to hold on to my sanity, even if only by a precarious thread. Like I said, it was one of THOSE nights...

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