Some Time to Myself

This may seem strange, especially considering how often I mention missing him, but I’m beginning to have fun being out here on my own.  Don’t get me wrong, I do miss him, but I’m starting to appreciate soloing it for a while.  Without him, my life out here is a whole new experience.  I’m a single girl again (kind of) and get to do all of the fun, girly things I miss when I’m part of a couple.  Sure, my nights are lonely, but I’m discovering there are benefits to this single-ish life.  I can watch chick flicks, grab drinks with the girls, and go clothes shopping without catching any grief.  I can eat gelato for breakfast and cereal for dinner.  (And don’t forget the pumpkin!  I have been the queen of pumpkin-eaters since his departure!)  I get to be selfish and spend my time exactly how I want to.  After living as a couple for so long, it’s kind of refreshing to have this freedom.  It’s nice to be able to make some of this experience solely about me.  Of course, I have days when no amount of freedom or gelato can make up for his absence.  Those are the days I have a hole in my heart the size of the Outback.  But those days are becoming less frequent.  The loneliness is slowly dissipating and is giving way to happiness.  I may not feel this way if our separation was indefinite, but it’s not.  So, for now, I can see the good in this experience and be thankful for the little joys it brings me.  I can enjoy my cocktails, shopping, and cereal, knowing this time is special and won’t last forever.  Because, before I know it, I’ll have to stop thinking like a me and go back to being a part of we.